


Stonewall

by Wreybies



Category: Warehouse 13
Genre: Boys Kissing, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Pride, PrideMonthRocks2019, Sex Pollen, Stonewall, SyFy Channel, pride month
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-02
Updated: 2019-06-02
Packaged: 2020-04-06 16:45:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19066609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wreybies/pseuds/Wreybies
Summary: Inspired by my recent revisit to Warehouse 13, and a light-hearted sentiment about being better to one another within our own rainbow community.





	Stonewall

“Hey, Claudie Paudie Pudd’n Pie….?” Pete singsonged from the next aisle over.

“Mmm… kicked you in the nuts; I wonder why,” responded Claudia with perfect timing. She rolled her feline eyes.

“I’m down to shelf D on this side. Methinks ye doth be inventory dawdling.” Pete was a never-ending fountain of terrible accents.

“ _Doth_ is third person singular not second person formal or plural, doofus. Thou knowest _not_ thine archaic conjugations,” Claudia shot back from between the artifacts on the shelf.

“You know, you’re really beautiful,” Steve said.

Claudia dramatically feigned the onset of vomitus.

“Don’t be like that, Claudia,” he chided.

“Then don’t be all… whatever this is.” She waggled a hand in front of him. “We have a contract, buster. I’m Queen of Techies; you’re Queen of… Queens. That’s the deal. Now I understand it must be no mean feat - even for a gay guy - given all this undeniable pulchritude, but please do make the effort.”

And with that, Claudia renewed her place in Steve's heart. She was an amazing person. Despite the joke, she was genuinely unaware that she was the prettiest girl in any room, but give her a keyboard and a stubborn set of electronic firewalls and digital gatekeepers and watch her shine. She was damaged and broken everywhere that didn’t answer to Warehouse 13, but here, in this sanctum of the strange, the bizarre, the unexplainable, she was like an artifact herself, glowing opalescent from the cracks and fissures.

“Okay, dude. The goo-goo eyes. Ew. What’s going on over here, Jinksie?” She leaned back on one leg and gave him a funny three-quarter stare and delivered her face that said _and the joke ends now_. Her eyes slid to the shelf next to them and then flashed large in acknowledgment. She aimed a purple-gloved pinky finger and carefully lifted his hand away from the shelf.

“What’s rule number one, Jinksie?”

From their respective sides of the shelving, both Steve and Pete responded in unison, “Don’t touch the artifacts!”

“Yes, don’t touch the artifacts because if Jinksie goes touchie then artifact goes whammie! Look,” she said, pointing at the shelf. “That’s an original brick from the Stonewall Riot in 1969.”

“But I’m gay. Why is it making me…?”

“Oh, Jinksie Pinksie. I’m sure you know your history, right? Your rainbow _fabola_ history? They weren’t all little Wally Cleavers like you at the riot. Stonewall was the _whole_ community, the whole LGBT-LMNOP, **_all_** the letters, and yes, their straight friends too. The brick was imbued with the will of all the patrons that night, the wish to be seen and acknowledged for themselves, for who they really were, not who they were painted to be.”

Pete rounded the end of the aisle and approached them with his big, goofy, labrador retriever smile. “Steve, did Clauds just school you on _the_ gay history.” He pantomimed dancing the letters to YMCA as he spoke.

“No. I knew all that,” he replied, feeling like he’d been caught unawares.

“Yeah, well, the communi- ** _tay_** could certainly do a better job of acknowledging the fact. United we stand, divided we get our asses handed to us.” She bunched her lips, goading a reply.

“You just said we. What’s _we_ about? ‘Splain me _we_ , Lucy!” Pete did his best Ricky Ricardo impression, which was atrocious.

“ _We_ is _they_ when you add a _me_ , Freddy Fratboy!” She clowned a face. Dumb question, dumb answer. “Come on, Pete. Never once? You’re cute in a G.I. Joe action figure kind'a way. Not even just one boy-kiss?”

“Hard as it may be to believe…” He struck a silly, old-timie bodybuilding pose. “… It never came up. Lots’a girls and only so many hours in the day.”

Claudia took his hand and slapped it down on the brick.

“Claudia!” exclaimed Steve.

Pete’s eyes went huge, but seconds passed and the surprise was replaced with smug satisfaction.

“So if it doesn’t work on me, then I must be the straightest dude ever,” he said, adopting the voice of his twelve-year-old self. “Because you’re still pretty.”

“Well, of course I am,  _Pi Kappa_   _Douchie_.” She redirected his attention over to Steve. “Try him.”

A shimmer passed over Pete's face, a ripple of distorted light like an ocular migraine. He blinked and his face set in an expression of riveted focus.

“Dude, do you wear colored contacts?” Pete asked.

“No. My vision is perfect. These are… mine.” Steve pointed to his eyes.

“Nah, that’s not possible. I mean, look how deep they are, and so, so blue.”

“Nope. Mine. Had’um since day one.”

“Man, we gotta’ find you a guy, Steve. Or a girl. Or whatever you want. How ‘bout me?” Pete slowly approached Steve, placing a hand on his shoulder, giving it an appreciative squeeze. His eyes strayed down Steve’s torso and the tip of his tongue traced the edge of his lip.

“And _there’s_  that infamous artifact downside that Artie's always grumbling about,” said Claudia.

“Claudia, make it stop,” said Steve, no longer amused at the game.

“Ruh-roh, Jinksie. You gotta’ kiss him,” she said.

“I gotta’ what?” proclaimed Steve.

“Yeah! Hot-cha-cha-cha!” Pete made a strange little dance move that both Claudia and Steve would have paid to unsee. “ _Bow-chica-wow-wow!_ ”

“Just kiss him, Jinksie. It will satisfy the wish and break the spell.”

“Nope,” replied Steve.

“Do it or deal with _bow-chica-Pete-Pete_ for the rest of your days.” She shrugged. “Just kiss him!”

Pete made a lewd flick of his tongue followed by a grin that split his face from side to side.

Steve squirreled his face into an expression of resigned determination, grabbed Pete by the sides of the head and planted a huge, open-mouthed kiss. Pete wrapped him in his arms, returning the kiss with a gusto that left Claudia flushed, not because it was sexy, but because of how quickly it slipped over into sloppy. The ripple passed back over Pete's face in reverse fashion. His eyes refocused, coming back into the moment, Steve still gripped tightly in his arms. Several thoughts flashed over his face before he slowly pushed Steve away.

“Well, kiss a guy. Check _that_ off the bucket list.” Pete blinked as the reaction of having been whammied sunk in. “Hey, you touched it too, dude, so…” Pete flicked a finger between Steve and Claudia. “Yeah! Pucker up, pretty boy!”

Before he could move, Claudia stood tippy-toe and gave Steve a peck on the cheek. The shimmer repeated across his face and the spell was broken.

“Hey, wait…” Pete protested loudly.

“I said a kiss. I didn’t say you had to suck his face off. _Acknowledged for themselves, for who they are,_ ” she repeated. “It’s about appreciation and acknowledgment, not hands in the pants. Also, 'pretty boy'? We may need to drop you in a vat of neutralizer goo. You may still be affected.”

Pete scratched his forehead and said, “Okay, I’m going back for the D.”

Claudia and Steve exchanged a quick smile and snickered.

“ _Shelf_ D. I’m going back to _shelf_ D. You two deserve each other... and you're perves... and I'm gone.” But he winked at Steve as he turned and made for the other side of the aisle.

 

 

**Pride is not a flag.**

**It’s not a piece of fabric.**

**It’s a promise we make to one another.**

**It’s an oath and a vow to be better than those who would harm us.**

**We can add every color in existence to the flag,**

**but until we learn to live up to its promise, they are only stripes.**

**Be kind, be loving, be thoughtful.**

**Most of all, look past the stripes and see the person standing in front of you.**

**It’s more beautiful than any flag could ever be.**


End file.
